A child is born more powerful firearm that is his voice, crying. There is nothing more powerful in the world draws the attention of all living beings around him. No one can ignore it, all come running to see what it needs: will be hungry? you tired? will be changed? will it hurt?
not easy to know what you need, you go by trial and error. After millennia of life on Earth, the human being is not yet able to decipher the first language of a child crying. And so you end up doing what everyone does: trying to get him to stop tapping his mouth. It simply puts a barrier between us and his tears: a pacifier, a bottle of food. And finally (in 99% of cases) the child stops crying. And you can devote to something else.
's how we learned from childhood not to listen to more of our needs, to not understand our needs, our desires, to quench our frustration. Just put a barrier once again: sometimes food, sometimes a cigarette, sometimes alcohol, sometimes drugs. Very little is needed to appease our inner cry, we need to be understood, listened to, loved. It 's so that arise related disorders: anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorders. And all the dependencies: drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, gambling.
It 's true, perhaps even as children we were not listened to, loved, fed. But this should not become an excuse to continue to harm or to repeat the same pattern with parenting our children. Once you become aware of this heavy baggage that we drag behind childhood, the next step can be only one: to learn to let go of the ballast, to let go to free our lives from the shackles of the past. The only time is really important this: here and now.
Only here and now we can begin to hear that baby still crying inside. If we continue to close his mouth how can you tell us what it needs to be happy? Taped over your mouth when the baby is inside of us still do not want to hear our screaming and crying because I want to break the chains of the past, wants to be free, he wants to be reborn.
When we are not happy in the place where we are, whether it be work, family, the city where we live, the sense of dissatisfaction, frustration, inability to make a change in direction creates a state of anxiety, contempt, of helplessness that most of is sometimes appeased with food or with smoking.
When we get angry with someone but we can not vent our anger, to say what we think, to express what I feel inside, our hand, even faster than thought, grabs the food and in a flash, without realizing it, the 'object of our anger is there, inside our mouths. And chewed, crushed it, devour it like we're doing this to someone. And too often that someone is ourselves. Then the act is not directed more to something external, but internal to our body: our stomach, one who has to swallow everything, even the "frogs", the "bricks" and the injustices ("This thing just did not go down," "I do not digest," "I like a weight on my stomach"). Hence, the gastritis and ulcers later, corresponding to eat themselves not to eat the other.
When we have an unsatisfactory relationship, or have no relationship and we feel alone, eat sweet things offsets that sweetness that has always lacked in life. But as soon as the short and illusory sense of being caused by increased production of serotonin in our body, slip back into grim reality of everyday life: solitude. And it is often sadness and loneliness that you eat, drink, take drugs there to fill that gap that separates life from life that we would like.
And then there's the sad world of those who are always on a diet, to chase a future project of thinness and happiness, is social approval, by the success, the illusion of being able to solve all problems, from being the desired end and loved. An happiness fictitious, but based on an unsteady base, impermanent, can not penetrate the depths of our being. But again, what has not been taken into account is still that child inside of us that wants to be heard and that we put to rest once again forcing him to starvation. But rebels and screams that he has had enough, who want to live, eat and be loved. Not enough of surrogates. And when this happens, the surface of everyday life that we do not like and want to change, comes the anxiety, fear, the panic of not being able to keep the situation under control. Born of guilt ("I ruined everything"), the self-accusations ("I can not combine any good"), blame ("it's my fault"), the contempt ("I'll never not") and then, seeing that we are not just able to keep everything under control, you might as well let go of the reins and run like mad horses. But at the end of the race everything is as before, in fact, worse. Why now we must also fight against the sense of failure, which can cause us to slip into the abyss of depression, or it can empower us to restate, to try once more this challenge. But even if we use the hypercontrol to solve our unhappiness inside and continue to beat always against the same wall. Which one will win? Certainly not us.
Then what is the way to go, the means to finally become happy? If we want to get out of that tunnel which is created from childhood and that seems to mark the way for compulsory until the end of our lives, we must do what no one has ever been granted from the beginning: listen. Listen to our emotions, our desires, our feelings: follow our instincts.
Our instinct is never wrong: it is what has allowed us to survive to this day in history, what drives the animal being that is within us, as the child does not use the rational mind to know What is better to do. If we learn to listen, will show us exactly what we need. It is the only one we can trust, because it belongs to, is part of us and knows what we need to be happy. For too long we have stifled thinking that others might know better than us. But it is time to take in hand the reins of our lives and begin to drive it personally, based on our instinct, basing our choices on what we feel makes us feel good and not on the expectations of others. Because the only people truly interested in our happiness is ourselves.
not easy to know what you need, you go by trial and error. After millennia of life on Earth, the human being is not yet able to decipher the first language of a child crying. And so you end up doing what everyone does: trying to get him to stop tapping his mouth. It simply puts a barrier between us and his tears: a pacifier, a bottle of food. And finally (in 99% of cases) the child stops crying. And you can devote to something else.
's how we learned from childhood not to listen to more of our needs, to not understand our needs, our desires, to quench our frustration. Just put a barrier once again: sometimes food, sometimes a cigarette, sometimes alcohol, sometimes drugs. Very little is needed to appease our inner cry, we need to be understood, listened to, loved. It 's so that arise related disorders: anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorders. And all the dependencies: drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, gambling.
It 's true, perhaps even as children we were not listened to, loved, fed. But this should not become an excuse to continue to harm or to repeat the same pattern with parenting our children. Once you become aware of this heavy baggage that we drag behind childhood, the next step can be only one: to learn to let go of the ballast, to let go to free our lives from the shackles of the past. The only time is really important this: here and now.
Only here and now we can begin to hear that baby still crying inside. If we continue to close his mouth how can you tell us what it needs to be happy? Taped over your mouth when the baby is inside of us still do not want to hear our screaming and crying because I want to break the chains of the past, wants to be free, he wants to be reborn.
When we are not happy in the place where we are, whether it be work, family, the city where we live, the sense of dissatisfaction, frustration, inability to make a change in direction creates a state of anxiety, contempt, of helplessness that most of is sometimes appeased with food or with smoking.
When we get angry with someone but we can not vent our anger, to say what we think, to express what I feel inside, our hand, even faster than thought, grabs the food and in a flash, without realizing it, the 'object of our anger is there, inside our mouths. And chewed, crushed it, devour it like we're doing this to someone. And too often that someone is ourselves. Then the act is not directed more to something external, but internal to our body: our stomach, one who has to swallow everything, even the "frogs", the "bricks" and the injustices ("This thing just did not go down," "I do not digest," "I like a weight on my stomach"). Hence, the gastritis and ulcers later, corresponding to eat themselves not to eat the other.
When we have an unsatisfactory relationship, or have no relationship and we feel alone, eat sweet things offsets that sweetness that has always lacked in life. But as soon as the short and illusory sense of being caused by increased production of serotonin in our body, slip back into grim reality of everyday life: solitude. And it is often sadness and loneliness that you eat, drink, take drugs there to fill that gap that separates life from life that we would like.
And then there's the sad world of those who are always on a diet, to chase a future project of thinness and happiness, is social approval, by the success, the illusion of being able to solve all problems, from being the desired end and loved. An happiness fictitious, but based on an unsteady base, impermanent, can not penetrate the depths of our being. But again, what has not been taken into account is still that child inside of us that wants to be heard and that we put to rest once again forcing him to starvation. But rebels and screams that he has had enough, who want to live, eat and be loved. Not enough of surrogates. And when this happens, the surface of everyday life that we do not like and want to change, comes the anxiety, fear, the panic of not being able to keep the situation under control. Born of guilt ("I ruined everything"), the self-accusations ("I can not combine any good"), blame ("it's my fault"), the contempt ("I'll never not") and then, seeing that we are not just able to keep everything under control, you might as well let go of the reins and run like mad horses. But at the end of the race everything is as before, in fact, worse. Why now we must also fight against the sense of failure, which can cause us to slip into the abyss of depression, or it can empower us to restate, to try once more this challenge. But even if we use the hypercontrol to solve our unhappiness inside and continue to beat always against the same wall. Which one will win? Certainly not us.
Then what is the way to go, the means to finally become happy? If we want to get out of that tunnel which is created from childhood and that seems to mark the way for compulsory until the end of our lives, we must do what no one has ever been granted from the beginning: listen. Listen to our emotions, our desires, our feelings: follow our instincts.
Our instinct is never wrong: it is what has allowed us to survive to this day in history, what drives the animal being that is within us, as the child does not use the rational mind to know What is better to do. If we learn to listen, will show us exactly what we need. It is the only one we can trust, because it belongs to, is part of us and knows what we need to be happy. For too long we have stifled thinking that others might know better than us. But it is time to take in hand the reins of our lives and begin to drive it personally, based on our instinct, basing our choices on what we feel makes us feel good and not on the expectations of others. Because the only people truly interested in our happiness is ourselves.
